God and Despair

 5. GOD AND DESPAIR 

Hello and welcome to my walk with God. I invite you to join me as I heal from domestic violence through the Bible. Don’t forget to read your special prayer at the end.

This time, I have been prayerfully led to Psalm Ch23 vs4 (NIV):

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

I’ve known the 23 Psalm back from my childhood. I learned to sing it in primary school, but it never really meant anything to me. They were just lovely descriptive words. 

Now, I know different. This Psalm, also well known from funeral services, and particularly this 4^th verse, means far more to me than when I was a child. Because I have been through my darkest valley in my life so far.

When in my situation of domestic violence, I had honestly felt that life couldn’t get any worse. All my thinking had been dark: “If God was real, I wouldn’t be hurting so badly. I wouldn’t get beaten so much. One of these days I’m going to get killed and no one, not even God, cares”.

Then one day, I was reminded of this verse. Now, I hold it close to my heart. This 4^th verse speaks of pain and despair. That we all go through dark and painful times, when all hope is despaired from. 

In this life, we will go through dark despairing times. Even Christians go through times in their lives, when they feel all hope lost, and God isn’t there. This verse speaks otherwise. We may feel at our lowest, yet God hasn’t left us. 

God is still there with us (Psalm 46:1). He was with me. I just had to remember to trust in Him. Knowing that God was (and is) still there, caring for and comforting me, really helped me to get through. I knew (and still know) that no matter what despair I may feel God will bring me through.

It’s hard to remember God is there, when on the brink of death. Yet, although I may die, I have the comfort of knowing that God will lead leading home with Him. I just have to give my life into the hands of God (which we can only do through the death of Jesus Christ), and trust that my despair will turn into joy, no matter the outcome.

I invite you to pray along with me:

Thank you, Father God, 

that You are with me 

no matter my despair. 

Thank you that I can come 

to you, through Your son, Jesus. 

Please help me to remember that 

You are with me, even in 

my deepest darkest despair. 

Remind me to trust that You 

will lead me through my despair, 

no matter what I go through. 

Thank you that if I trust in You, 

that You will comfort me. 

Thank you that when my earthly time is up, 

You will lead me home to be with You. 

Please remind me of that 

ultimate comfort when I forget. 

In the precious and blessed name

 of our Lord Jesus Christ, 

Amen.

Thank you for joining me as I heal through the Bible. Please feel empowered how you feel God comforts you. And until next time, have hope — and faith.

In God’s love, Ruby.

God Cares

 4. GOD CARES

Hello and welcome to my walk with God. I invite you to join me as I heal from domestic violence through the Bible. Don’t forget to read your special prayer at the end.

This time I have been led to 1 Peter ch5 vs7 (NIV): 

Cast all your anxieties on Him, for He cares for you.

I learned this verse in Sunday school. I just thought of it as a nice saying. A verse that was just words, it didn’t really mean anything. Now, I know that it’s more than that.

In my relationship living with domestic violence, I put this verse out of my head. During the beatings, I never went to God in prayer. I had hardened my heart against God. If God cared for me, I wouldn’t be getting hit. That is what I constantly told myself.

I never prayed to God during that period of abuse. I never told Him of my heavy hearted worries and anxieties. And God knew (John 23:17).

Now, when I think back, I realise that God was still caring for me in the midst of my victimisation. Although I didn’t realise immersed in my trauma, God was still there, caring for me. 

Today, when I read this verse and take it’s words literally as the truth they are, I do understand that God loves me and cares about me. Whenever I am in the middle of earthly trials and troubles, this verse reminds me to take my problems to God. When I do, I can feel a warmth and calm settle over me. Of being held by an unseen hand, the Holy Spirit. 

No matter the storm we may be travelling through, God is there to guide us to safety. Because He cares about us, and for us. He may not show His care in the way we think He should. Nevertheless, He is with us, because He cares.

I invite you to join with me in a special prayer for you:

Thank you, Father God, for being 

with me, although I thought you weren’t. 

Thank you for loving me, 

and walking with me, 

because You care for me. 

Please help me to remember that 

You are with me every step I take. 

Please help me to know 

that no matter my life’s storm, You care. 

In the precious and blessed name

 of our Lord Jesus Christ, 

Amen.

Thank you for joining me on this short walk in the Bible. Please leave a comment on what you feel when you let God care for you. And until next time, have hope — and faith. 

In God’s love, Ruby.

God’s Tears

 3. GOD’S TEARS

Hello and welcome to my walk with God. Join me as I heal from domestic violence through the Bible. Don’t forget to stay so that you can find your special prayer.

The verse I am looking at today is the shortest verse of the entire Bible; John Ch11 vs 35 (NIV):

Jesus wept.

I don’t know about you, but growing up I was taught to abide by the saying that crying was just “turning on the water works”. It was demonised as bad and wrong. So to me, tears of any form on my part, was like committing a sin. So I suppressed my emotions and my healing.

And now as an adult, I find myself still struggling with any emotion that might result in my tears. Particularly of grief and sorrow. I beat myself up for being so weak and foolish. And then I came across this verse in the Bible. 

In this particular verse, it is made perfectly clear as to whether weeping because of such gut wrenching emotional pain is bad, or sinful, or even weak or foolish. Yet, it is none of those things. Jesus was not bad or weak or even foolish. And He certainly was never sinful.

Crying is a normal expression of deep sorrow. So normal, in fact, that we know Jesus cried too. It is not enough for us to believe that God cares when we are sad. We know our Lord cares for His children, me and you, because we can see that He cares. He too has suffered the agony of grief.

God, as Jesus, came to earth to live as a human. So He truly understands our deepest grief as we cry, because He, as a human lived like we do. He knows the happiness, the joy, all the good things of this world. But He also knows pain, grief, and deep heartfelt sorrow.

So now when I think of my crying as bad and wrong, I can look back to this verse of the Bible. I can see that I’m allowed to weep, because Jesus wept too.

I invite you to join in this prayer with me:

Thank you Lord Jesus 

for Your example of sorrow and 

grief. Thank you that I can truly

 know that You have felt my deepest 

and inner most sadness. 

Please help me to remember 

when I cry, that I am not being sinful, 

or doing anything wrong or bad. And please, 

dear Lord, help ease my pain 

when I do cry. I know You understand 

exactly how I feel right now.

In the precious and beloved name 

of Jesus Christ, 

Amen.

Thank you for joining me in this example of how you and I can know that God understands our tears. Don’t forget to leave a comment on how you now see crying, in the light of this verse. And until next time, have hope — and faith.

In God’s love, Ruby

God’s Plans

 2. GOD’S PLANS

Hello and welcome to my walk with God. Please join me as I heal from domestic violence through the Bible. Don’t forget to stay for your special prayer at the end.

Today I am drawn to Bible verse: Jeremiah ch29 v11 (NIV)

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

My life hasn’t been easy sailing. There have been some highs, however there have also been some monumental lows. At one point, I was living in a domestic violence situation. At that time, I certainly saw no possible reason of good it might be.

However now, decades later, I can see that God did have a plan. Without the bad, I wouldn’t have been able to enjoy my freedom now. Without my experience of domestic violence, I wouldn’t be able to help others in a similar situation that I had been through, in quite the same way.

I can see now the point of God’s plan in my low. It truly was for good, and not harm. However I didn’t see it that way at the time. There is a saying which I had always thought of as condescending: ‘God never gives you more than you can handle’. But it’s true. I wouldn’t be as strong as I am now without my lows. Or rather, I wouldn’t know just how strong and resilient I am, through God’s gracious power.

God means every experience in our lives for our ultimate good. Every hurt, every pain, is not to pull us down. When you are grieving, God will comfort you; when you hurt, God will pacify. If nothing else, God may be saying in your darkest moments, “ Hey, I’m here. Come to Me and I will light your way.”

Are you at a low in your life? Can you see how any good can come out of your dark? You may not, but God can. Think of Jesus. You can’t have much more of a low than dying on a cross. Yet God did it for our good. In the harm, there has been ultimate good. Jesus’s friends and family didn’t see at the time how such pain could possibly be in God’s plan. But it was.

Without what seemed like such a harmful situation as Jesus’s death on the cross, we couldn’t be saved. We wouldn’t be able to come to God now, and know that His love is truly boundless. God had a plan in His son’s death. And we are the ones who can see that plan now.

Do you know the plan for your life? Can you see the good in the harm of your life? You might not now. But God can. All you need to do is trust.

I invite you to pray along with me:

Thank you God for knowing 

the plan of my life. Thank you 

that in my darkness, You are 

there to light my way. 

Please give me the strength 

to keep on going. Please help me 

to trust that it’s in Your plan 

for my good. In the heavenly 

name of our Lord Jesus Christ, 

Amen.

Thank you for sharing this walk in God’s light with me. Please leave a comment on how something harmful in your life was actually for your ultimate good. It doesn’t have to be large life-changing moments as others may see them. Even the “little things” can hurt. Until next time, have hope — and faith.

In God’s love, Ruby

From The Beginning

 1. FROM THE BEGINNING

Hello and welcome, as I walk with God. Feel free to join me, as I heal from domestic violence through the Bible. Don’t forget to stay to the end, for your special prayer.

The verse I have been prayerfully lead to today is:  Genesis Ch3 v9. (NIV)

But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”

This verse is actually a comfort to me. However I didn’t always think or feel this way. Back when I was in a relationship of domestic violence, I asked over and over again, “Where are you, Lord? Why have you left me?” It’s only now, looking back, that I realise He was there all along. He hadn’t moved from me, but rather I had strayed from Him. 

God is calling with love, concern, comfort and, most of all, compassion. So even though I stray, as we all do, I know I have a home with God. He patiently waits whenever I am ready to turn towards Him, to answer His call to me.

The Lord God actually seeks out each and every one of us. He is our Creator, asking truly, “Where are you?” He knows when we stray from Him, and is calling us back into His arms of mercy and love. All of us stray from God’s tender care.

It’s what happened when Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit. However, even back then, God was calling for them. And now He’s calling us. He’s calling for us, with the same love and concern that He had for Adam and Eve, back in the very beginning.

Our Creator God is calling, longing for us to turn back to Him. And He will be there. Just as in the beginning, He was there for Adam and Eve. He met them where they were. And He will meet us, no matter where in our journey we may be. We just have to answer when God beckons us and asks, “Where are you?”

I invite you to pray along with me:

Thank you God for not leaving me, 

although I thought you had. 

Thank you for welcoming me back 

into your tender arms, each and every 

time I stray. Please help me 

to remember Your arms of comfort. 

Even when I’m in my darkest places, 

You are still calling, waiting patiently 

for me to come home. In the precious 

and blessed name of 

the Lord Jesus Christ, 

Amen.

Thank you for coming and sharing this special time with me. 

Before we leave each other, please leave a comment and share how you find comfort in coming back to God. It just might help someone else in their journey. 

And until next time, have hope — and faith.

In God’s love, Ruby